Caterina, the Cruisin’ Catfish
Caterina loved to sail.
So she stowed away on a giant cruise ship
Where no freaky fellows would give her any lip.
She silently slid into the kitchen where the
Chef deftly juggled knives and the pastry
Man happily sprinkled parfaits with a strawberry dip.
Caterina loved to swim in the pool on deck 7.
She truly thought that she was in heaven!
In the evening, she flipped to the theater
Where beautiful gals and oh-so-buff guys
Were twirling and swirling to the
She mooched snacks from the garden café and
Drank vodka tonics on the 17th floor
That opened to a magical kingdom of
Seahorses, starfish, octopi, and a
Spanish monkfish that cried, Ole [e with acute accent].
She was enthralled when standing aft
When watching the churning of water at the back of the boat,
Which looked like swirling snow cones playing afloat.
She watched Tony the tugboat
Push his nose into the side of Cyril, the
Cargo ship next door
Whose colorful rectangles were stacked
High to the sky up where the seagulls fly,
Waiting for a giant clamp
To take them out of the damp
Into the storage area to be
Sorted and checked for
Proper papers, promising another
Journey farther than any fish eye could ever see.
Saola, shmayala…hard to pronounce.
When he jumped on the scale, he was more than an ounce.
Nevertheless, he remained quite rare,
Almost as much as cities with clean air.
He lived in hot Vietnam
With his long, pointy horns,
He avoided all thorns.
Some called him a saola.
But his dream was to be an adorable koala.
So furry and cute,
Wrapped around a tree branch,
Almost a glove.
Ready for a bear hug
And oodles of love.
MR. FLUKE FISH
It wasn’t a fluke or kind of rebuke
When Mr. Fluke Fish
Fell in the blackstrap molasses
‘Cause of the stress in
Shopping for his 3D glasses.
You see his eyes are up here
And across over there….
The yoga frog stuck out his tongue
In order to eat tasty morsels of young…Quail eggs!
No legs, he begs!
Just meat juicy and sweet
To make my parts so flexible and neat.
And please remove this spaghetti!
He cried to the dragonfly, who
Was hoping for calm
But instead got confetti
When he flew through the shredder
On the desk with the teddy.
Oh my! What a mess! Bear hair!
What a pair: The frog and the dragonfly
Searching the sky
Looking for, hoping for yum-yum pumpkin pie.
But instead in their eyes
Fell rays of moonlight.
They said it felt good.
Then bid all a good night.
It was raining cats and dogs (but no icky, sticky frogs)
[literal drawing/puppies and kittens]…(Ostrich and worm are covering their heads)
As Ollie and Winton cuddle together
And say with relief, Oh, what a bother!
Could have been falling on us those fat hogs
With a whine and a holler !
And a snoutful of fodder…
Pegasus was showing off his shiny shoes to Norse, the horse, and
PlumPie, the horsefly, and
MaggieMead, the centipede (who really needed lots of shoes!).
To polish all those shoes took three hours and a half!
Enough time for a cow to give birth to a calf!
The Germanic gerbil [wearing little Valkyrie hat w/upturned horns]
And the Balkan bat
Met together for tea
In their nondescript flat.
Too sweet, said the gerbil
With a throaty, loud gurgle!
Too hot, said the bat
With a big, bad splat!
So they went out together
In worrisome weather
To search for a drink,
The color of ink….
Bad Boy Bear
Bad boy bear had really pretty hair.
He lured shiny new things
Into his glamorous lair.
Where sometimes he robbed them
Or used them as objects
And sometimes as subjects for his
Which was not smart
Because the slick lawyers
Were hiding in rooms
With cell phones and videos to
Ensnare the bad boy bear
With really pretty hair.
Gulo, the Wolverine
Gulo so sleek and furry
With pearly whites…
The predatory wolverine
Can be quite scary and oh so mean!
He prowls Alaska on long-nailed paws
With agility and grace.
He kills and hunts
At his very own pace.
Pity the poor rabbit
Who was wearing the lace!
Celestial Cat and Dutiful Dog
Celestial cat and dutiful dog
Live with the morose Mrs. Bog
At the edge of a clearing
Not within hearing
Of the fire station
Whose bells and alarms keep the
Neighbors free from flickering harms.
Celestial cat loves Dutiful Dog.
You should see him put his puddy-cat
Paws on Dutiful’s jaws.
Looks like happy dog
Is getting a massage on his maws!
Touchy toucan was quick to give you a peck with her beak.
“Think before you speak,” she squawked,
“Or you might dread the consequences.
The words you spout
That all come out
Can cause unnecessary harm
And will alarm those who don’t understand
And are too shy to take a stand.”
So be polite.
Avoid a fight.
Try to cultivate wisdom
Instead of a schism.
Doughty Dodo Bird
Doughty dodo bird was so determined.
The ermine looked up at him and asked,
“You never give up…what’s up with that?”
The dodo replied, “My dreams are big, and I
Don’t give a fig about those who tell me,
‘No, your aspirations are silly, and you will fail
Don’t don’t tell me what I can do.
My plan is to fool you too!
I will succeed and
Fulfill my need to
Be the very best that I can be.”
Purple pumpkin was perplexed by the
Hex on the local barn.
“Why am I purple?” she purred like a kitten.
“Because you are special, the color of yarn.
One day in the future, the sweetest girl will
Twirl her horsehair paintbrush across a large canvas.
Then you will rise above ordinary lumpkin
And be transformed into an immortal pumpkin,”
Said the wise fairy who lived in the aerie.
Palomino puma was super sleek and fast.
Had the habit of chasing rude and rowdy Ruby the rabbit.
After too many races and both out of breath,
They agreed to stop hating and start contemplating what a
Peaceful life would be.
Just then, interrupted by a friendly, but fearsome, flea who said,
“Let’s all live together with Peace
As our goal…
So never again must we hide in a hole.
Flaky flamingo was such a fussbudget
And so irresponsible.
Never did what he said he would do.
Never told quite the truth.
Was always late and appeared at the
Gate with another excuse.
Boo-hoo Boo-hoo, he cried.
Well, the other critters said, Enough is enough,
And old flaky flamingo ended up fried
In a dish of ointments ‘cause of all the delays
On his way to appointments.